Serba salah

I already gives you two full option and you said no (this is YOUR decision)

well i'm kinda sad but also relieved in the same time because you don't have to come at my college and be uncomfortable and you can use that ticket to more efficient. But i'm also happy that if you came.. i was torn between two sides

so i just said okay... but you're not satisfied with that answer

Hate on me

"When she cry... i feel like the baddest person in the whole universe"

Start with that feeling..

She cried again yesterday, she cried because she missed me...

I feel terribly guilty.. i don't know what to say to her..

But funny thing about guilt is that i can create "other" me to defend myself

That "other" me really want to her to be stronger than that, more independent

but the another me said that i must understand her, i can't expect her to be something that i want

i'm such a jerk, how could i made her cried like that!

that thought is repeating in my mind like a broken tape..

i hate myself when she cried

i hate myself when she tried to compromised things for me

i hate myself when she pretend to be okay

i hate myself even more when she tried to comfort me because of this problem and said "it's not your fault"

i hate..

i really hate this guilty feeling..