Hate on me

"When she cry... i feel like the baddest person in the whole universe"

Start with that feeling..

She cried again yesterday, she cried because she missed me...

I feel terribly guilty.. i don't know what to say to her..

But funny thing about guilt is that i can create "other" me to defend myself

That "other" me really want to her to be stronger than that, more independent

but the another me said that i must understand her, i can't expect her to be something that i want

i'm such a jerk, how could i made her cried like that!

that thought is repeating in my mind like a broken tape..

i hate myself when she cried

i hate myself when she tried to compromised things for me

i hate myself when she pretend to be okay

i hate myself even more when she tried to comfort me because of this problem and said "it's not your fault"

i hate..

i really hate this guilty feeling..