Good for them, or good for you?

Hey! it's not about you..

it's about them..

so will you cut the crap out about value, and morale

because your mindset is still what's good for you, not for them...

you don't fucking know what's good for them, and what's the future for them...

you're just afraid for history to repeat itself

god! you're such a coward!

so what if it happen??

god! you're so selfish!

shouldn't you be happy?!

god! you're so ungrateful!

just find a new one!

You fucking melancholy, friend-depended mind!

*P.S : This is me, angry with myself..

Idle mind (selfish thought)

i cared for for people so much..

sometimes it is so much that it bugs them

i asked them "what's wrong?"

even when they answered "no, i'm fine"

i just know that something is wrong

and i just want you to tell me,

because i hope that i can lift your burden

and make you smile..

i'll stay with you, if it what you need

is it a mistake?

i know i can't think about this..

but please, just once..

i want somebody that asked me "what's wrong?"

when i feel blue..

and he/she are really meant it.. not just for formality..

i used to have them, and they're far from me right now

Break-up and Make-up

I just opened up plurk... in there, there's my friend that had a fight with his girlfriend, then they're easily says "okay! let's break-up!"..

I find it, weird

I find it, Unbelievable

I find it, Upsetting..

Why, because is it so easy to say "break up??"

That's such a big word for me... it's frightening, it's uncertain. it's just not right...

it's a word that you shouldn't be saying spontaneously without thinking!

Every couple always, and MUST have their own fight

but, that problem can make us STRONGER & CLOSER...

I wonder if i break-up with my girlfriend long time ago, when the problem is at peak, and i'm really stressed...

I wonder how many moments that i will be missed..

How many laugh, that i will miss??

How many hug, that i will miss??

How many Cuddle, that i will missed??

How many of her smile, our smile, that i will miss??

How many story sharing time, that i will miss??

How many dates, that i will miss??

How many kiss, that i will miss??

Just think about that making me goosebumps...

Just wait, just think....

Because it's not about how many times he/she make you upset or angry...

But it's about how many times that he/she :

make you happy,

make you smile,

make you wipe out your tears,

make you laugh,

make you confident,

make you feels good,

make you excited to meet her,

make your spirit glows...

"How many times that he or she make you feel that you are precious in this world"

When you think about that, all of your problem with him/her is worth it...

"it really worth to have him/her in this world"

place to stay

After a while..

and i need a while to realize it...

i got another place to stay...

hope i wont make the same mistake twice..

^^

Finally!

Finally!!

after finishing third semester and continuing to fourth semester without holiday..

i feel so tired..

my performance in college are drop dead!

no spirit, and no passion...

i really need time to rejuvenate my spirit

so now is the time...

my god! it's Holiday!

Happy holiday friends!

use it wise, it's only 2 weeks till we back to business..

Yeah!!!

*i hope after this, my college performances will increasing*

Individualism..

Goddamn it! it's eating me alive!!

why can we just live up as packs

or maybe it just me, who didn't have a pack?

Regret

Baru kmaren, gw buka puasa bareng2.. sekaligus sesi curhat dengan "Pandora", team oddisey gw...

Disana kita mengungkapkan perasaan msg2 dan gw ngrasa terharu bgt dengan tim ini...

dan, gw beranikan diri lagi melihat suatu blog. dan membaca tulisan-tulisan maut itu....

Blog itu berisikan :

"Jadi ya masalah terletak di koreo... koreo pada saat berantem tepatnya. Semua kerasa... gitu doang... agak datar dan terjadi begitu cepat"

Gw ga nyalahin coment itu, klo menurut dy bener, ya gw ga bs nomong apa2 lg kn.. sebagai choreografer, sudah seharusnya gw memuaskan "ekspetasi" penonton, dan menerima kritik (everything needs a critic)

dan sekarang gw cmn bs bilang...

gw nyesel bgt, nyesel knp gw ga bs lebih bagus lg.

gw nyesel bgt, knp gw ga brusaha lebih keras lg.

Maksud gw bkn brarti gw Gabut di Pandora (HA! No freakin' way, gw pernah gw tidur 3 hari gara2 ngurusin koreo)

Maksud gw, knp gw ga bisa menerima sesuatu dengan keyakinan, dan optimisme...

Slama bikin koreo gw selalu berpikir bgini

"aduh! gw kn koreo dance, mana bisa gw bikin koreo perang"

"ahh! shit! mana bisa gw bikin koreo kyk gini"

"argh! kyknya koreo ini sampah bgt"

"kyknya mending bukan gw d yg jd koreografrer"

Gw nyesel bgt, gw bertugas dengan perasaan2 seperti ini.. dan jk gw g kyk gt gw pasti bisa lebih baik lagi..

maaf teman2 pandora... gw ga bs lbh bagus dari itu...

tp demi mereka gw berjanji, kalo gw akan belajar yakin kepada diri sendiri dan yakin akan apa yg gw perbuat

Great lesson!

Thx Pandora...