Finally!

Finally!!

after finishing third semester and continuing to fourth semester without holiday..

i feel so tired..

my performance in college are drop dead!

no spirit, and no passion...

i really need time to rejuvenate my spirit

so now is the time...

my god! it's Holiday!

Happy holiday friends!

use it wise, it's only 2 weeks till we back to business..

Yeah!!!

*i hope after this, my college performances will increasing*

Individualism..

Goddamn it! it's eating me alive!!

why can we just live up as packs

or maybe it just me, who didn't have a pack?

Regret

Baru kmaren, gw buka puasa bareng2.. sekaligus sesi curhat dengan "Pandora", team oddisey gw...

Disana kita mengungkapkan perasaan msg2 dan gw ngrasa terharu bgt dengan tim ini...

dan, gw beranikan diri lagi melihat suatu blog. dan membaca tulisan-tulisan maut itu....

Blog itu berisikan :

"Jadi ya masalah terletak di koreo... koreo pada saat berantem tepatnya. Semua kerasa... gitu doang... agak datar dan terjadi begitu cepat"

Gw ga nyalahin coment itu, klo menurut dy bener, ya gw ga bs nomong apa2 lg kn.. sebagai choreografer, sudah seharusnya gw memuaskan "ekspetasi" penonton, dan menerima kritik (everything needs a critic)

dan sekarang gw cmn bs bilang...

gw nyesel bgt, nyesel knp gw ga bs lebih bagus lg.

gw nyesel bgt, knp gw ga brusaha lebih keras lg.

Maksud gw bkn brarti gw Gabut di Pandora (HA! No freakin' way, gw pernah gw tidur 3 hari gara2 ngurusin koreo)

Maksud gw, knp gw ga bisa menerima sesuatu dengan keyakinan, dan optimisme...

Slama bikin koreo gw selalu berpikir bgini

"aduh! gw kn koreo dance, mana bisa gw bikin koreo perang"

"ahh! shit! mana bisa gw bikin koreo kyk gini"

"argh! kyknya koreo ini sampah bgt"

"kyknya mending bukan gw d yg jd koreografrer"

Gw nyesel bgt, gw bertugas dengan perasaan2 seperti ini.. dan jk gw g kyk gt gw pasti bisa lebih baik lagi..

maaf teman2 pandora... gw ga bs lbh bagus dari itu...

tp demi mereka gw berjanji, kalo gw akan belajar yakin kepada diri sendiri dan yakin akan apa yg gw perbuat

Great lesson!

Thx Pandora...

cin(T)a

I just watch an Indonesian movie called cin(T)a yesterday... well i know this movie from my friend, he said that the trailer was so cool, because the maker of the trailer is his unit in college.. i saw it, and.. yeah it's pretty cool, though i didn't really enjoy romantic movie, because it's so cliche...

Yesterday the class finished at evening, and i don't have anything to do... suddenly my friend asked me to watch it... i said to her that... yahhh... i'm not really interested in the movie... because i thought the storyline is cliche, and predictable (coming from experience... butterfly, coklat strawberry, my heart, etc). but.. since i have nothing to do... so.. okay, i'll watch it. it will be fun anyway if we hang out for a while..

so the movie begun...

and love it! very2 much!! many of my friend stated that the movie is vague, bad, etc... but i understand every meaning of it.. because i'm experienced myself...

the story is all about love between two people with different background and different religion, both of them valued god more than their life... and keeping the loves is hard, because the world is know colored with religion conflict, and so-called "religious" bombing...

i really like the part when the girl said

"kalau gw pindah agama.. lo masih mau sama gw?, gila.. tuhan aja gw khianatin.. apalagi elo ntar"

and i also like..

"kalo tuhan ingin disembah dengan satu cara, mengapa ia menciptakan kita berbeda-beda?"

"Karena itulah tuhan menciptakan cinta... agar mempersatukan perbedaan itu.."

I don't know if the second sentence is a self-righteous statement... but i really want to believed in it...

hmmm... this movie is too deep and i really like it... i almost can "feel" it...

but there are some intermezzo in this movie... i think the director is a genius... he put joke really in the right time... so the movie is not boring, yet didn't lose its essential as deep romantic movie..

and there is something that bugged me.... in the movie, there's always ants presence... i didn't catch the essential of the ants.. my friend told me that the ants is the narrator... but some viewers behind me said something,, and it really cracked me up.... in the movie there's a javanese traditional pre-wed ceremony that make the woman are bathed with flower... just after that, the woman are dried and there are flower in her shoulder... and it has ants in it (the camera focused in the ants... and the viewers said.." huuh... semut lagi... brapa sih dibayar??". hearing that sentence,,, i laugh hard with my friend...and we try to make it as quiet as possible...

hhh... some movies...

so the last thing i want to say is..

God, if i were meant to be with her (please i really wanted to..) please open the path for us...

if not please search someone better than me for her... before you searched for mine..

Rakshadeva

RAKSHADEVA!!!

MULAI!!!

Rakshadeva pasukan keamanan

Selalu tangguh dan juga tampak garang

Walau jarang senyum, ga pernah ketawa

Namun perdamaian tetap tujuan kami

RAKSHADEVA!!

SEMPURNA!!!

RAKSHADEVA!!

PERKASA!!

RAKSHADEVA BERSATU!!!

RAKSHADEVA!!!

SIAP! SIGAP! SEMANGAT!!!

RAKSHADEVA!!!

AMAN!! AMAN!! AMAN!!!!

That was a yell code for "Rakshadeva", the safety division of ProKM 2009, an event to introduce freshmen to The environment and culture of ITB (Bandung Institute of Technology)

My Heart for Pandora and Oddisey 2009

Hmmm... Finally it's over, Oddisey.. the show that bring me to sleepless night, but actually, i'm kinda miss it somehow, even though i remember myself talking the other day, "shit, when will this over".

But now, i feel kinda miss all the training, my team, the atmosphere, it all felt so beautiful... hahaha....

To my beloved Pandora, i am really-really glad, to be a part of our magnificent team, i feel so grateful to work besides you guys...

now, i'm tormented with guilt,

i'm really sorry for my incompetence, my emotion, and all of my flaws in the process...

to Director :

i'm sorry for everything, i can't meet your expectation, i can't even catch up with your schedule... i feel that sometimes, i burdened you with my uncontrolled emotion, i'm really sorry... you are a great director, and i love to have you as my supervisor...

to Stage Manager :

I'm really sorry for my incompetence, that you must help me to fulfilled my task even though as stage manager, you have a lot of other task. I'm really grateful to be helped by you... and i'm really sorry if you somehow offended by every emotion that i accidentally showed evert time we argued.

to Music Director :

I'm really happy to have you as my MD, i'm sorry for my behavior that sometimes change frequently, so you have to remake the music over and over again and i feel really sorry when you feel hard to meet my request..

to Costume Designer and Property Master :

I'm really sorry that if my request are too much for you, i'm really sorry if i were ever make you stress and all. But in the end you all did a great job and i'm really proud of you..

to All Talent :

I'm really sorry if my teaching style is somehow offend you. I'm glad with all you guys.. i'm sorry if i was ever being impatience and arrogant..

to someone :

i'm sorry for my behavior for the last days on oddisey, but i hope you know, that my reaction was not really wrong, and i still care about you..

well people, In the end, we all did it! no matter what people say (and i know some did..) i'm really proud of us,,, and i think we did a f***ing great job! Don't cha agree?? haha!

well it's holiday people!

lets use it wise before the next torment-ion, i mean semester comes...

happy holiday all! let's relax for a while, or better, let's relax together.. hahaaaaa...

Love u guys!!!!

PANDORA : ULANG, eh, LATIHAN TERUS, eh.... DON'T OPEN THE BOX!!!! YEAHH!!!

Current...

Tired....

Tired with this script i wrote by myself...

Afraid...

Afraid of missing the past...

Scared...

Scared for being nuisance again...

Hurt...

Hurt by my own decision...

but i have to do it anyway...^^